What is the purpose of my life ?

Shiva Tejo

Sep 28

5 min read

Updated: 7 days ago

What is the purpose of my life ?

I've come to believe the question is self-imposed. As babies, we experience joy—someone feeds us, bathes us, puts us to sleep, and we take life as it comes. Somewhere between then and now, we learned to ask what we're for. Why can't we be like newborns and take everything as it comes, maneuvering fluidly like water passing through a stream?

From the day we start learning our ABCs, we are tasked with a purpose. Our parents and society begin projecting into the future: "What is Mr. X or Miss X going to do in life?" We become conditioned and start thinking we have to do something. It is almost unacceptable for the mind to not look forward to anything.

In 2019, my marriage dissolved in a week. For the first time, I found myself asking a question that had never occurred to me before, nor had anyone around me ever questioned: What is my purpose?

In my experience, questioning one's purpose is a rare phenomenon, occurring in very few lives.

Life's script seems clear from birth; we always know what to do next, guided by our culture and upbringing. For instance, if we don't find the job we want, we know we will look for another; finding a job is an unchangeable part of the script. Similarly, earning a living, finding a partner, having children, setting up a home, living as part of a community, and contributing to society are all part of this predetermined script.

However, when life deviates from the expected—when a new, unexpected variable for which you are unprepared is introduced—we are often thrown into unforeseen turns of events.

This can happen through the death of a partner, divorce, a life-threatening illness, retirement, or other dramatic, transformative events that push us to our mental limits.

We find ourselves in an empty mental space; suddenly, our analytical mind is unable to predict future outcomes it had successfully deciphered so far.

Abruptly, we are left without a script, and a new one does not appear instantly—at least not to everyone when life deviates significantly from what is expected. No one has prepared us for unemployment; we were only prepared for pursuing a career. No one prepared us to live without our partner or family; we were prepared to lean on a support system that would always be there. No one prepared us to fight a life-threatening disease; we need to etch the path ourselves.

This unpreparedness for such situations creates a significant void. While everyone else continues to follow their own scripts, we are left without one. We feel we no longer fit in.

Prior to my annulled marriage, my life was largely driven by societal expectations—study, marry, have children—a predetermined script for the ideal life. When that script fell apart, I was hit with the same question: "So, what is next?"

Is there really a need to have a purpose?

If you are strongly driven by one, that's good. If you aren't, that's also good.

We've all encountered situations so dire they make us think, "That's the worst thing that could happen, and it would never happen to me." Yet, sometimes, it does. The shock of such an event takes a long time to process, leading to this question that never existed before, but it is here now.

While this question can fuel your next steps, it offers no solution on its own. It will not lead you to a definitive purpose; but the search will neutralize the question itself.

You are life itself.

The question always concerns the mind and its projection into the future.

As long as the question remains, the void, the sense of emptiness, and the feeling that something is missing will remain.

When time and space are absent, the question itself ceases to exist; therefore, it holds no intrinsic value in a broader context. It belongs to the mind alone.

When you are living in the moment, and the mind is not projecting its anticipations, the question will vanish on its own.

Life is about creating something from nothing. Focus on your next creation and work towards it. If the question ever arises, try to simply live, pursuing what excites you in the moment, without worrying about the outcome or its value.

To rediscover meaning in your actions, notice the smiles you bring and how joy spreads from you to others, whoever they may be.

Connect with a stranger who needs to feel the spirit of the day, with children playing without any expectations of tomorrow, and with flowers that bloom just to make you smile for a few days.

All these inspire life is worth living for its own sake.

Many spiritual gurus have been asked this question countless times. If the soul has matured to a certain extent, this question arises naturally, without any triggering event and it evolves with time: